How to help a little girl with her riding?

This may a little long, but please bare with me. I really do need some help!





There's a little 10 year old girl named Taylor that goes to the barn I ride at. I have been riding for 4 years now and my instructor trusts me with everything from helping little kids ride to getting horses ready to be ridden.





We have two main beginner lesson horses, Spook (whom does not spook at all and is the sweetest thing you've ever seen) and Missy. Missy is a little more advanced but nothing any of the kids can't handle.





Taylor has ridden Spook and Missy, shown Missy 3 times and coming back with 2 red ribbons and 1 yellow. We all ride English Saddle Seat by the way and in Academy. But she has ridden other places that have obviously scared her.





This is what Taylor will do. First she puts her hands way down on the horses withers, giving the horse free rein do to whatever he pleases (she is on Spook in this episode). Spook at this point is like la-dee-da, he goes wherever he wants in our inside arena. Next thing she does is she bends his neck, not turns, just bends him. So with his head dropped he doesn't go anywhere.





Next thing she does is she CANNOT for the life of her figure out her diagonals. If you know anything about Saddle Seat riding this is VERY important in Academy riding. So when she finally gets him to trot (the second way of the arena, mind you, she can't go the first way) all she is doing is posting. Not a care in the world if she is correct on her diagonals or not.





Next she is constantly having a death grip on the horses. Both Missy and Spook. On Spook (he used to be a high academy/pleasure horse) if you start to canter you have to settle him down. It is hard, because sometimes I have problems with it. If you have a death grip on Spook he freaks out and only goes faster and faster. This scares Taylor (which I'm not surprised) but instead of riding it through and letting him get over his fear by giving him his bridle she throws the bridle down and puts her hands on his withers and he comes right to me or my instructor or a familiar face.





I can't seem to figure out what her deal is! We have tried being nice to her, bribing her, being nice to her, asking her what is wrong, yelling at her, being mean to her, everything! The only thing we haven't tried is embarrassing her and I'm afraid that's what I'm going to have to do that next weekend.





Lastly, when she is on the ground she walks around like she can get on our biggest 5 gaited horse and show him in Louisville and win, win, win. She will ''instruct'' a girl who has been riding about 7 months now, coming from the same place Taylor did (where we think some of this started).





Taylor's parents push her VERY hard but the little girl can't seem to keep up with the other kids (she is a little chubby and lacks the stamina to ride and to play with the other academy riders).





Please help, I am at my wits end with this girl. It's literally like taking your head and beating it against a brick wall with her, I can't get to her. She doesn't get frustrated with herself or anything she just sits up there like a queen bee. Please help me with her I will be instructing her next weekend and would like some tips.





Thanks for reading!





~Amanda|||1. Tell her Mom


2. Tell her (little girl) what she's doing wrong


3. SHOW her how to fix it


4. And tell her Why this is important


5. If She does not get better.....


6. Tell her ''If you do not obey me..... you are not going to ride ....you can walk him CORRECTLY.''|||Don't be mean to the poor child. In my opinion,yelling or being mean to any creature will always be counter-productive.


Some people just take longer than others to catch on to things. But I know what you mean about the whole beating your head of a brick wall. I teach young kids at my stables too,and some of them just go off into their own little world the second they sit up on a horse. It's really frustating,especially when the horse is getting spooked,but you just have to be really really patient and work though it.


Explain to her how important it is to have a good contact without gripping with her legs or pulling on the reins. Just sit her up on the pony and lead her around for a few weeks until she gets the hang of it. Remember praise is very important. Keep taking baby steps and let her watch lessons so she gets to see how other people do it.


Just take things really slowly and be really patient with her. You could also ask your instructor for help or have a word with her parents


Good Luck!|||Okay sweetie, so, you've got yourself a little girl who seems a bit stubborn and obnoxious. Well, horseback riding is all about determination and an opened mind, and if this little girl doesn't listen to her trainers, she just won't excel. Tell her what she needs to work on in each lesson. Like, for example, in the next lesson while she is going around tell her you will be working on her hands. Tell her what she has to do with them and why in a very kind manor at the beginning of the lesson. Then, make some fun exercises to help her work on her hands. Then in the following lessons, do the same thing, but in with a different problem. If she doesn't listen, it's only her fault. You are telling her what she is doing wrong, how to fix it, and why she has to fix it and working on exercises with her to fix it. Don't do something mean to her, just accept she the fact she will not excel in her riding without following her instructions. Good luck! Don't forget to


1. tell her what she is doing wrong


2. SHOW HER HOW TO FIX IT (most trainers don't do this)


3. EXPLAIN WHY SHE HAS TO DO THIS (most trainers don't do this either)


4. work on FUN exercises to fix it|||Maybe she's not in to riding maybe her parent's need to think of their daughter more and see whats the problem why she can't get the hang of it.Could she be bored it seems to me she is only up there because of her parent's and not because of her self it doesn't matter as far as her wight maybe if you tell her that her less ion's are over then maybe you will be able to see how she feels. Some time's we have to do one thing to another until we can get through to these kids.She's old enough to understand what is gone on. I wish you lot's of luck with her.Do your best in not letting it get you down.|||Been there, done that and got the T-shirt!


It seems that the little miss thinks she is the answer to all riding problems - after all, she has won in the show ring.





I agree that embarrassing her is not the answer nor is being real mean (though there have been times when I so wanted to be!)


I think that I would try blackmail. In the lesson tell her that until she gets her diagonal correct then she is not going to canter. and stick to it. You could put a red sticker on the horses shoulder and a blue on the other to make it easier for her to see which she is on but keep her just trotting. If she gets it correct then let her canter but, if she doesn't then don't. If she is making little effort in trying then tell her she has one more chance to try and if she doesn't then she will only be walking for what is left of this and all her next lesson. Stick to the punishment as must the usual instructor.


Do the same with each major fault.


If you hear her boasting about what she can do to others or telling them how to do something then put her in her place and tell her that she has no right to be telling others when she doesn't even know what diagonal she is on.|||You need to explain the consequences of her actions to her - if she lets go of the reins in canter for example the horse could stumble and fall and hurt itself and her. Also, try an ultimatum - if she doesn't do as she's told, she has to get off. Stick to it though! I used to do this with kids who were whip happy etc. - "If you hit that pony one more time you're getting off" *Whack!* "Right, off."





ADD: I would have a quiet word with her parents, just say that unless she begins to listen and behave in her lessons she will no longer be allowed to have lessons at your yard. Say you need to put the welfare of your ponies first and this child endangers them.|||Little kids and horses...Its kind of charming, but so many things go awry!


I would try embarassing her a bit. Or you could tell her if she doesn't listen to you, she will not be able to be competative. She is young though, so she still may learn. And, just wondering, just because she is a bit chubby, why would that keep her from keeping up. I think she might be lazy and not care if she can't ride. I mean, thats never stopped me from riding!|||First of all,


Tell her why everything must be done. Saying "do this just cuz!" Will not stick with a young child. You need to make it sound like if she doesn't do it, the horse will become very, very hurt... this works with young children, because they learn to never do it again.


For getting on the right diagonal, drop her stirrups. Tell her to go up into a two-point and grab onto the pommel of the saddle, or a neckstrap, and make her feel the trot. Next, show her how to post at a stand-still and walk. Do lunging lessons with her. Tell her what to do, be firm, don't use a sweet voice or she'll think she can get away with it.





If you have a hard time teaching her, ask your coach to do it. Just tell her, you're telling Taylor everything right, but she struggles to apply it. This way you won't look bad, you'll look helpful and concerned for the welfare of the ponies' backs, and Taylor.





If Taylor's parents are pushing her, tell her parents that Taylor struggles. I think a good idea would be to have some bareback lessons - this way, Taylor can feel the horse's back. Only do some walking.





Tell her to rock her pelvis forward and lean back, to imagine she's putting her belly in front of her shoulders, so she gets a nice form. Then just tell her to count to 3 out loud, 1,2,3 (with each canter beat) and every time she gets to 2, give a squeeze or kick. (Being a child, her kicks probably won't hurt the ponies.)





Remember, consistency is the key. Have her come regularly. Make her smile, make her laugh, then ask her to do something nicely, stop her, put her legs in place for her, talk to get and show her how. Stand on the ground beside her and the pony and demonstrate as if you were on a horse, show her what to do with her legs, hands, and body.





Don't make it too confusing, give her information little by little, and as soon as she's mastered one step, give her another one.


Practice makes perfect!





Hope you have a good next lesson with Taylor. :) You're great for wanting to teach her. :)|||well first of all, don't give her an ultimatum. unless she is causing danger to herself or hurting the horses her not improving isn't the worst thing in the world. they're paying you right? and your trying? then you are doing your job by giving an honest effort. It kind of sounds like she has those parents that push her to do something she may not want to do because with riding if your not completely driven your not going to get better. Does she like horses? maybe you could get her to do something else for a while. Maybe there are horses that need to be lunged, and you could teach her to do that, or maybe she just needs to try a different kind of riding. when I was young I was in pony club and there was a girl who liked riding but wasn't getting anywhere and wasn't happy with what she was doing. so my trainer told her to take a break for a couple of months and then when she came back they started to work on bareback riding. nothing dangerous, just walking and trotting on this short fat pony, but the girl loved it and was good at it. I think if she is going to keep riding she needs to feel more comfortable around her horse. So I would pick one horse, because its hard for a new rider to go back and forth and have her starting to care for him. groom him more often and lunge him and go on walks with him, that sort of thing. maybe if she forms a bond with one of the horses she will not only trust them more but find the desire to do better.





I think before you do all this you need to have a talk with her parents though. Explain to them that everyone is different, and it takes a certain kind of person with a born quality, not learned, to do well with horses and riding. They may not listen and thats when it gets hard, I would know. Last summer I had to deal with a particularly abrasive mother who wanted her children to be cantering by the end of the week (it was a camp) and I had to tell her to her face, it wasn't going to happen. She would not accept that her daughters weren't ready for it even though I told her my main priority was safety. She ended up snapping on her kids and they got their act together and improved enough to do a short canter on a lunge line at the end of the week. She was happy but I was not. Children should not be forced into do something like that and although they did get better, they were not happy, and ultimately that is what riding is all about!








You may also be struggling because of your lacking experience. I'm sure you must be very good to be teaching lessons after only 4 years so its nothing to be more ashamed about but 4 years is not nearly long enough for most people to have the knowledge of how to deal with all kinds of riders.








also by ending a lesson on a good note she does not become as discouraged so wait until she does something good and then praise her for it before you get off.





Sorry I know this was long but this was a complicated question!





Good Luck!








P.S. do not tell taylor she isn't doing well, because that will hurt her. you can spin it in a different way, but her self esteem will take a huge hit and its not worth it.








EDIT** DO NOT punish her. that is cruel. horseback riding is supposed to be fun a lot of people are good at screwing that up. It may not even be something she can control. Lets face it, not all of us were born to be riders.|||by being mean to her, you probably ruined any progress you may have made at that point. any negative "encouragement" such as yelling, threatening, embarrassing, or accusing will not accomplish anything. if she has possibly had frightening experiences in the past, she will need a positive atmosphere in order to progress.





each lesson, i would pick something to work on and focus on that. don't put her on Spook if you are going to practice cantering, since clearly she is not ready to ride him at a faster pace. i would first work on, say, keeping contact on the bit at all times. just work on that for one lesson. then the next lesson you can work on keeping a relaxed seat through the walk and trot. don't have her cantering yet, since she seems terrified and not ready. then you can work on diagonals. it may be that she learns at a slower pace than other kids, so don't get frustrated with her, because all she needs is a good and patient teacher.





another thing you can try is write up a trivia quiz, just to see if she actually understands the things you are asking her to do. questions like, "when you are riding, you should: A) hold the reins so they are very loose and the horse can put his head down; B) always pull back very hard on the reins; C) have a firm but gentle contact on the horse's mouth at all times." or "when riding any horse, you're seat should be: A) relaxed and calm so you stay in the saddle; B) gripping very tightly and tensely so you don't fall off." write the quiz so that all the answers could sound like they could be correct, just to see if she really understands that she needs contact on the horse's mouth and cannot have a death grip on the horse. if she answers wrongly, then you now know that she doesn't know what she is doing wrong.





if she likes to boss other riders around, you should set up a video camera and video tape her lesson, but don't tell her you're taping it. then later, you can show her the video, and see if she notices herself doing anything wrong. (if you tell her she's being video taped, she may act differently than if you don't tell her.)





if you are still struggling to get to her after all attempts, it may possibly be that she doesn't really enjoy riding enough to make an effort to progress. you can try talking to her parents, and ask them to take it easy on her, and ask her if riding is really her thing or maybe if she wants to stop. remember, some ten year olds may struggle with anything complicated in learning to ride, so don't push her too hard.|||Try doing a lot of trot work. Don't do any cantering until she has perfected her trot, and let her know that you intend to do that. Don't be mean, but be firm with what you are telling her. Make sure she gets her diagonals and steering down pat, and doesn't throw her hands onto his withers. If she starts doing something wrong. Stop her immediately. Even put her on the lunge line again if you have to.|||Ok, the thing I do with kids that think they know it all is I get them to explain to me how to do things. Ask her how you know she is on the right diagonal, and correct her if she is getting it wrong, then you know she gets what she’s doing. Try and break things down, doing small exercises at a time, then afterwards make points on what’s she doing right, and then ask HER what she things she can improve on. Once she takes notes herself then maybe she’ll understand more on what she needs to improve and she can correct herself while she’s riding.





I’ll be honest I’m no expert as such, I’ve just had to teach young kids and that what seems to work.