My mom and my 3 year old Mare...?

I recently got a 3 year old Mare (well actually Chrismtas 2007) and she will be turning 4 soon. She is pretty calm and well put together and that is why I love her so much! She always trys her hardest at everything! Anyways... I have been working so hard to get her to behave in the pasture and to listen to my commands but my mom comes out and rides her and lets her get away with everything! Like in the pasture today my horse wouldnt go forward so my mom got off and went inside to put her away instead of making her do it! I am not trying to sound or be mean but I have worked my butt off to make her the horse she is today and my mom is unwinding it! As a green youngster, she can not get away with anything because I dont want her to develop bad habits. What should I do with my mom? I already tried talking to (in a nice tone) and I said, " Maybe you could just ride Abbi in the arena for now until you can handle her more in the pasture," and she yelled at me and told me I cant tell her what to do because she is paying for boarding :( My mom thinks she knows everything but really- she doesnt know a thing! It is both unsafe to her and to the horse for her to be riding! Please dont say I should just ignore it!





*I am 15 years old and experianced


*Everytime I tell my mom something (the bit is to tight, loosen the martingale, sit back, etc...) she yells at me and tells me she doesnt want my help and to go away! She is going to hurt the horses!|||Well if she won't take lessons, I'd tell her straight.





Before confronting her in a calm, collected, and mature manner, plan ahead of what you're going to say.





Explain to her why you are frustrated. That horses need persistent training. And if not trained correctly, negative behavior can occur (give her specific examples).





Also explain to her that you're not trying to be difficult, that you're just working really hard for your horse and would like her to preform her best in the ring.





Finally, tell her that in the end, it will even be easier for her to ride the new mare. Explain that in the end, all three of you will benefit, which is definitely true.|||suggest that she takes some lessons on your horse with a certified trainer for her (and the horse's) safety!|||In a perfect world there would be a good answer to your problem. In a perfect world you would pick a quiet time, when you or your mom aren't on the horse, to discuss this problem. Or you'd write her a reasonably toned note, similiar to the one you just posted on YA. And in a perfect world your mom would hear what you're saying and respond and things would improve if not totally change.


So that's what I suggest you do first.


Find a time when you are away from the horses, and everyone's calm and getting along, and talk calmly and rationally to your mom. Explain your concerns. Come up with a solution before you talk to her - perhaps you have a friend who could give her free lessons, or whatever. Is there an instructor who she does like that she could take lessons from?


If that doesn't work, could you talk to your dad, or your grandmother or someone who could talk to your mom for you?


But this is not a perfect world. Moms are just people. Some people are reasonable, and understanding. Some are not. I suspect your mom is very opinionated and stubborn at all things, and riding is just a small part of it.


In that case, you might not be able to change this problem. On the other hand, it could be much worse. You mom quit when she was having problems with the horse. This means she is a bit timid and nervous around the horse. Perhaps she will slowly stop riding, especially if she keeps having problems.


And while its true that this is confusing to a horse, don't forget, horses aren't as dumb as we might say at times. Your horse is quite capable of discovering that she can be bad for your mom, and still has to obey you. Many horses learn these things - think of all the clever ponies out there that obey perfectly for an adult and are little monsters for a kid! So while I think this is less than ideal for your horse, I also think that your horse is going to learn to ignore your mom, and still behave for you.


At least your mom isn't out there dangerously galloping your horse, and doing truly reckless things. Instead she's just over her head with a green horse. She might slow down your progess slightly, but I don't think she's going to wreck everything.


Good luck. At least you have a horse, and a mom that was willing to get you one and pay for its upkeep. This may be the price you have to pay in return.|||Just Tell Her That If she wants to ride your horse she should just easy up on her,be like hey mom why dont you try this to get her to do this,you dont have to im just suggestin,little things like that,and she cant get mad at you for that.


:)


My dad is the same way with my 4 1/2 year old Appendix gelding,and if Jeremiah(my horse) doesn't listen my dad runs the crap outa him and I hate it.|||You have a few options!


1) Give her lessons for a holiday so she has to take them and learn


2) Get a friends family to get together with yours and do a family horse night and have your friends and you teach your parents new things


3) I guess just respect it...





I would do the lesson idea. If she doesnt want to listen to you, I am sure she will want to listen to an adult or professional. (you are one but you know...)





Hope I helped :)


FILLIES FOREVER|||Have you tried telling her exactly this? Not just that she should ride in the arena, but that you have worked hard to get this horse to behave, and that when she lets her get away with things that it creates bad habits. Could you get someone older who she might listen to to tell her? I definitely think you should not ignore this if you feel that it is getting so out of hand that your worried about the safety of the horses.|||If your mom has any friends who ride, you could suggest that they ride together. Give her friend a heads-up that you would like to have her give your mom a few pointers. Hopefully she can get through to your mom on at least a few things while they ride!





If not, ask about maybe having a guest instructor come and help your mom out... Your instructor may be against this, but ask and see!





OOO or you could send her to a clinic with a trainer she likes. Many famous trainers hold clinics, you could disguise it as a gift too, "Mom I got you into a wonderful clinic with so-and-so!"





Just a few ideas, sounds very frustrating. Good Luck!