i've been riding since i was 5, but have changed disciplines like 4 times, hunt seat, western, driving, and now saddle seat. ive started riding seriously for about 2 years on a regular basis, i had a really really good, instructor, then she got in a fight with the barn owner, who is also her cousin and took her two horses and her stuff and left. that was really disappointing, for everybody. so the barn owner started giving her own lessons and they were never as good as when the old instructor was there. at this barn there were about 4 or 5 girls who would regularly stay on saturdays come before lesson time and stay after to help, watch lessons, hang out and have fun. so the old instructor would make sure that we got in on our scheduled time, (I.E if my lesson was at 10 then it would be at 10) even if we were staying the whole day. then the owner took over lessons when the old instructor left and things really changed and not for the better. the kids who would stay all day wouldn't get their lessons until like 2 or 3 when att of the scheduled lessons were over even though we had a set lesson time. like i would sign up for a 10 AM lesson time and i wouldn't get my lesson until some time around two then she wouldn't tell you if you were having a group or a private lesson until you got to the arena " you don't mind riding with another person do you?" when its a group lesson at her place she pretty much focuses in on only one person in the group, which isn't fair to the other kids in the lesson. and when you did get your lesson she would talk on the phone half the time, not let you canter if you were riding, no stirrup less work, not really pushing us like the other instructor was. so then she got a guy from georgia to help out with lessons, but then he had an affair with one of the other students mom's, instead of kicking the guy out she told the student, (this girl was such a big help to her, coming in to feed the horses on the weekends so the owner could sleep in, staying late on school nights to help muck out before bed, and when one of the horses got really sick she stayed with the owner to help get up ever 2 hours to tube feed the sick horse) she told her that she and her family had no business being around her barn and to stop bothering her all the time to come over and ride. i thought that was really selfish on the owners part. she had no right ti tell her that. so back to my story, so i got my horse in march, and i really like her shes super sweet, i was going to board her at my old lesson barn but the owner said that i'd have to pay like $275 and let her use the horse for lessons as well. so i told her politely,no. but i was really thinking that i don't want some kid or adult that barely knows anything about riding to ride my horse. so i found a good barn with a really nice owner/instructor. she does both. so ive had a 3 lessons with her i really like her she's alot like my first instructor from my old barn, she doesn't just throw you up in the horse and say " Take your lesson, wheres my money?" but she helps you, tells you how do do something and if you mess up she just says its ok try again, but she also tells you why your doing it. and suggestions to get the horse back under control. she pushes you and its good to be pushed if its going to help you become a better rider/horse owner. so my mom doesn't think that i need lessons any more she thinks just because i've got my own horse now that i don't need lessons that i'll learn from my self. and i don't want to tell her that i do need them, cause my mom's got a very sensitive "anger button" you say one thing wrong, do one thing wrong that's not done the way she wants it and she blows up! how do i tell my mom that i still need lessons? i really enjoy taking them, and she doesn't want me to show either, she thinks its a waste of time and money. but yet she'll go out and buy my aunt a dress for a family party in june, and her kids summer stuff, like towels flip-flops, beach and pool toys, but cant be bothered to pitch in with this. it just seems really unfair. please help!|||First of all, I'm so glad you left that first barn. It sounds like WAY too much drama, and you were not really learning anything. I definately would not let the barn owner (who sounds like she doesn't know much about riding anyway) use my horse for lessons. That's a sure way to have your horse's training ruined in a hurry.
Your new instructor sounds great. Maybe you could offer to work for her in return for the lessons? I still meet people who say things like "you still need lessons - I thought you already knew how to ride." I politely tell them that once I'm so good that when the other countries hear that I'm riding on the Olympic team they're too scared to show up, THEN I'll be good enough to not need lessons anymore. Right now I still have a lot to learn. I'm not even long listed for the Olympics yet! LOL.
Anyway, I would avoid telling your mother that you want lessons for showing. When your mom hears "showing," she's thinking that it will cost her money and take up her time. A better approach might be to remind her that an instructor will help you learn to control your horse better so that you stay safe. After all, what parent doesn't want her daughter to be safe? Remind your mother that unless you improve your skills, even the best trained horse will gradually lose its training and become more difficult to handle. Plus a horse is an investment. You paid good money to buy the horse, and the better the horse becomes the more money it is worth. Ruin the horse and it's worth nothing. The best approach when trying to persuade a parent is to remain calm and rational. As soon as you start whining, complaining, or blaming her for spending money elsewhere, your mom will just tune you out. Impress her with your maturity and you just might change her mind.
Hope this works! If not, I suppose you could always find babysitting jobs or something to make some money.|||If your mother is paying to board your horse, she may not be able to afford lessons easily for you any more and is using that as an excuse. As for shows- you are not going to change her mind about that, so ask her to contribute the time, you come up with your own money.
As to move to lessons twice a month, or if that doesn't work, try to exchange cleaning stalls for lessons, pick up job, etc to try to pay for your own lessons. You should be very grateful she is paying board for you- I had to pay everything from 16 yrs on, and had to work hard to be able to afford my horse and I can only afford a lesson once or twice a month.
You could also bring up the point that riding lessons keep you safe because you know you are handling the horse correctly and training it safely.|||Oh dear I do see you problem. Well first off ok and talk to your mom, tell her that there are still so much you need and wish to learn. Tell her that you need to do lessons so you can not only become a better horse woman but be able to take better care for your horse. If she still says no to doing shows then forget her you don't need her money. Ask your barn owner if you could work for her. Or get a small job just helping out. SAVE SAVE SAVE! With that money you will be able to enter in local shows your self.
By doing this, this will show your mom that your are serious about what you are doing. And maybe once she sees that she might help with show money and such.
Hope this helps =)|||I would write her a nice letter trying to explain why you want the lessons and why you need them, or you could save up allowance money or tell her that you will contribute more of your allowance to the horse, or you could even get a job, or work at the barn for the lessons. maybe you can even ask your instructor about the problem, maybe she can help. than again maybe not. hope some of these ideas help you!
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