What is the right thing to do in this situation?

Here's the deal:





My family is from Kansas.


His family is from Mexico.


He, myself and parts of our family live in Texas.





Our families have offered to help financially with small stuff (his mom will help with the cake, my mom will do the centerpieces, etc.) but he and I are taking care of the big stuff and everything else financially. We both have decent jobs but we're not rich.





OPTION #1 (BRIDE'S FAV): The origional plan was to do an intimate local botanical garden wedding in the fall. Followed by a dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. 50 people tops. Probably closer to 35. Something simple like this is has been my dream. Simple wedding, simple dress, simple decor followed by an AWESOME week-long honeymoon.





OPTION #2 (GROOM'S FAV): As we were saving for the garden %26amp; vendor reservation fees, one of our friends highly reccomended a bed and breakfast... and brought us a brochure. We agreed to look into it, visited it, and my groom FELL IN LOVE with the location and wants to do it there the following spring. They require a minimum of 75 people, we can only use their food, cake %26amp; vendors (so our family may not be as open to helping), and it's going to cost about 8k. If we did this we'd skip the honeymoon.





OPTION #3 (MY FAMILY'S FAV): My mom and grandparents suggested doing it on their land in Kansas next spring. They have over 50 acres and a horse arena that is brand new and has never been used by animals. She thinks we can invite as many as we want and still keep it fairly reasonable.





OPTION #4 (HIS FAMILY'S FAV): His mom suggested doing it in Mexico next summer in a hacienda by their house. She says we can invite 200 people and spend $3,000 tops. She took photos of the area, put together a vendor list and got everything pretty much all planned out.





My job is pretty chaotic (long hours, very stressful %26amp; competitive). So I would secretly feel overwhelmed by a big wedding and cheated if we didn't have enough money for a relaxing honeymoon just the two of us. But I'm the only one who feels this way and feel selfish hanging onto the idea of the first option when everyone else (my groom included) wants something else. What would you do?|||so simple. go with number one.





then, some other time, you and groom and maybe even your favorite sister and her husband could all spend a weekend at this bed and breakfast as a little weekend trip, say on your first or second anniv.





if you did it in kansas, you would not be in control of any of these factors, weather, people coming in and out, too much.





#4. you have to be kidding. everyone gets passports and travels to a country that many are wary of right now? no way. someday in the far future you and your husband can visit there.





number one makes the perfect sense. not because it is your day do what you want, because it is easiest for everyone, and easy for you while letting you still provide a nice, easy day for everyone.





note: you must tell the place you dine at that this is a wedding reception. no restaurant wants to find out that dinner for 35 is actually your wedding reception. it will disturb the other diners and is not what a restaurant is for, they have back rooms or other parts of the restaurant for your party.|||First of all, as a bride you need to realize that it's YOUR big day, and honestly if I was being faced w/ this decision I would go w/ what I want.


But, I'm not you-


so I'd go with...#3.


You still get to have a beautiful ceremony, and still get to keep your honeymoon =)m|||Go simple..|||number 3|||When I read yours and your grooms fav, I was thinking to myself ,they could have it on someones property and durned if that isn't one of the options- the land in Kansas. Just thank of how much money you could save and get to go on a honeymoon too. The option is Mexico sounds pretty nice too but with the way the drug lords are going around shooting up everything and everybody right now I'd say no to that one.Why don't you do what your mom and grandmother suggested. That would be so cheap and you would have money left over to save for when you get back from your honeymoon to tide you over until you get on your feet good.|||Ooooh. You DEFINITELY have some options! Wow!


But honestly they all sound absolutely amazing.


Don't forget that this day is about you and your soon-to-be husband. It is NOT about the wedding but about your marriage and I am sure, if you are like me and you sound like it, you are looking forward to the wedding be over and just being his WIFE!


I would suggest you two sit down and talk, go thru the options like you gave to us and figure out what would work best for you. Don't compromise but come up with a THIRD option together as a couple.





Good luck and no matter what you choose it is going to be amazing.





(P.S. I would probably pick #3. I wanted SO BADLY to get married in a barn.. haha!! But there are slim pickins for barns in AZ)|||do what will make you and your groom happy|||I say do it close to home -- you are in control of the schedule, the vendors, etc. If something happens to time lines, etc you don't have to try to catch people in another state - you can take care of it right there.





Also, Texas, being in the 'middle' may ease travel burdens for both families.





I think you and FI need to decide together - I like your idea best from a control point of view. I don't know what'd be involved in getting married in Mexico and what you'd have to do to have it (the marriage) "validated" in the US - you'd need to check with your local court or an INS type agency. In the long run you and FI do what is BEST for you as a couple, and be grateful you have such supportive, loving families.|||In all honesty, after thinking everything through, I am not so convinced that it would be selfish on your part to go ahead with option number one: In fact, unless I missed something major in hygiene class in school, doesn't the groom benefit in some way during the honeymoon part?





Anyway, I do not recommend you giving up the wedding of your dreams in order to please others. I love the idea of a botanical garden wedding: I think though that you should confirm with the facility involved that if you do do the ceremony in autumn that there will be enough variety in terms of flowers on hand then. The thing about the restaurant is that you might want to explore the option of a private room in a restaurant, as that way you can have some musical entertainment and dancing as part of the festivities and celebration.





Please remember that if you make one of the other options as your choice, there will be some component, family or such, who will be less than thrilled and/or feel slighted: You cannot please others one hundred percent of the time; and you will just get sick trying to do so.





Congrats as to the upcoming nuptials. :-)|||I say option #3 because it's all about compromise. I know it is supposed to be your day, but it's also your fiances and if your family is helping pay for certain things then they have a say in it as well. So I think if you pick option #3 then you will still have money for a great honeymoon and have a great wedding. Remember, a wedding is one day of your life but your marriage is forever :)